Marina Yates - Poliklinika Salvea

Children, sleep and all the well-known problems

Marina Yates — Fri, 29 Dec 2023 08:12:43 +0000

Sleeping difficulties in children present one of the biggest challenges for parents, and for sleep-deprived and exhausted moms and dads, it can become a real nightmare.

When the child is awake – everyone is awake

The problem often arises with children who fall asleep in their parents’ arms or while being nursed. The scenario is almost always the same: the child finally falls asleep in the parent’s arms, and the parent tries to quietly and discreetly place the child in the crib. When the child wakes up and realizes they are not in their mother’s arms, loud protest and crying follow. The parents then pick up the child, nurse, and cuddle them. There is no reason for the child not to repeat the same pattern at the next waking – cry and receive comfort. Over time, this rhythm exhausts the parents. The mother often loses her calm and confidence, becomes tense, and the child feels threatened. The child becomes more demanding, cries and fusses, and constantly wants to be held. And so the cycle continues.

How to help ourselves

When it’s time for bed, the child should be placed in the crib and soothed, then the parent should say goodnight and leave the room. This approach communicates a clear message – it’s time to sleep, you are tired, you can fall asleep on your own, and your mother loves you. When the child cries, ideally, parents should restrain their emotions and “let” the child cry for about ten minutes. Then, briefly reassure the child by saying, “Mommy is here, I haven’t abandoned you, but you are staying in the crib because it’s sleep time.” If the crying continues, it is recommended to check on the child at intervals, extending the time by five minutes each time.

After a few nights, the child will sleep without difficulties. Sometimes parents may need to be flexible, but the goal should be clear – a peaceful night.

In some cases, the maternal instinct is too strong, making it difficult to follow these instructions consistently. Generally, it’s good not to intervene immediately at the first sign of protest, such as when the child is experiencing a lower level of stress (e.g., hunger, a wet diaper, or boredom).

It is good to try to act like a nurse in a hospital at 3 a.m. – she will come to the awakened child, pick them up from the crib, and calmly soothe the child with relatively little emotional involvement.

When it comes to breastfeeding children who wake up due to hunger, the mother can nurse them but should avoid excessive emotional engagement like cooing and cuddling. This clearly shows a lack of readiness for interaction, which the child should sense and then continue to sleep peacefully.

What if the child sleeps with the parents?

Generations of some families have practiced co-sleeping. In such cases, it is important to take precautions:

In the first few months of life, it is recommended to place the baby to sleep on their back – not on their side or stomach. Studies show that placing a baby on their back reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
The sleeping surface should be firm, the bed should not be too soft, and the baby should not sleep on a pillow.
The bed should not have too many toys, stuffed animals, pillows, or blankets.
Infants should not sleep between the parents. It is recommended that the baby sleep between the mother and the side of the bed (wall or rail).
Do not sleep with the baby if you are under the influence of alcohol or psychoactive substances (including medications).
It is recommended that the child sleep a minimum of 10 hours to avoid potential behavioral disorders associated with lack of sleep.

All sleep characteristics are the product of biological processes in the child’s brain, the intense processes of growth and maturation, and environmental stimuli, especially how and how much we communicate with the child.

We wish you a peaceful night!

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What if your child makes you angry? A quick guide to maintaining a healthy relationship

Marina Yates — Sat, 25 Nov 2023 14:03:06 +0000

The challenges of parenting are endless, and the level of stress and pressure never lets up. In the midst of all that stress, there are also situations where our little one remembers at 10 o’clock at night that he hasn’t finished his homework, or when dressing for kindergarten he insists on wearing winter tights even though it’s 28 degrees Celsius outside, an older child teases a younger one which results in thunderous crying and you are simply bursting at the seams.

It's not easy being a parent

Don’t worry, there is no parent who hasn’t been infuriated by their own child. We all enter the parental relationship wounded in some way in childhood, and our children bring all these wounds to the surface. This is precisely why it is the responsibility of us adults to stay away from the edge of the cliff of patience and to be aware of the new emotions that children encounter, which sometimes throw us adults off track.

First of all, it is important to understand that we parents are responsible for our angry reaction, not our child. It is also true that children are an easy target for us to vent our frustrations on compared to adults who could respond and return the same measure, such as partners or bosses. Who else could you yell at like that?

How to deal with difficult situations in raising children

Precisely in order to reduce your stormy reaction and prevent your child from growing up with the same emotional wounds, I give you some tips that can help you not to blame your anger or rage on your child and to understand the key processes in moments of anger:

When you are very angry, the most important thing is NOT TO ACT. Despite the need to act immediately and teach the child a lesson, it is very important not to act while the emotion of anger is at its peak.
Breathe! Breathing is your pause button, but it also gives you a choice – are you really going to let negative emotions take over?
Whatever your child does, remember: No hitting. No swearing. No derogatory names. No punishment while angry.
Say NO to screaming, shouting, yelling. Raising your voice at a child is non-contact wounding. Never scream at your child – screaming is nothing more than a tantrum, and you are no longer a child. If you really have to scream, go where no one can hear you, scream into a pillow in another room, get in the car, roll up the windows and let out a fit of rage, without it having consequences for the child.

When you really have had enough of everything, take a 5-minute time out (of course, if the child is not too young to be left behind). Physically move away from the child so that the hand does not fly away in temptation. Say as calmly as you can: “I’m too upset and angry, I’ll take a time out and calm down.”
Your children are sometimes angry too, so it is a double gift for them that you find constructive solutions to deal with anger. Your anger management, apart from preventing the child from feeling hurt, will also set a good example and teach the child how to deal with this strong emotion. Your child will see what it looks like when mom or dad gets angry from time to time, but how you deal with the emotion of anger will teach them a lot.
Share your frustration with a loved one. Call someone on the phone, get angry. The problem may not be any less when you share it with others, but you will feel better when you find understanding and a word of encouragement from the other side.
If you are open to emotional growth, your child will always show you where you need to work on yourself. In every stressful situation, you have the power to calm down or escalate the situation. You may be bothered by your child’s behavior, but remember that you are not a helpless victim. Setting limits for the child is the guarantee of success in the long run. Your child may not become a little angel overnight, but you will be surprised to see how much less angry your child is after you have learned to stay calm in the face of his tantrums.
If you often have trouble controlling your anger, get help. There is no shame in asking for help, it is shame in neglecting your parental responsibility so that you permanently and continuously physically or mentally harm your child.
Find what makes you happy in raising children, but also be aware of everything that “destroys” you. This can be the key thing that will build your relationship, that will bring you closer and that will help you to grow up together in a healthy way.

Emotional skills are learned while we are alive, and every parent must be aware of how many behaviours and values children acquire through observation alone. Raising children sometimes also means re-educating ourselves, and that requires daily work.

At the Salvea Polyclinic, various psychological and therapeutic programs and counseling are available to children and parents, in which we learn to communicate and regulate our feelings in order to create better relationships.

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Diaper rash – what it looks like, why it occurs and how to treat it

Marina Yates — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 13:09:33 +0000

What is diaper rash?

Diaper rash is a common form of skin inflammation (dermatitis) in children who wear diapers. More than half of babies get diaper rash, most often between the ages of 4 and 15 months. It occurs more often in children with thrush), in infants who are taking antibiotics or after the introduction of complementary foods. Less frequent diaper changes, diarrhoea, introduction of new clothes washing agents, humidity and heat contribute to its development. As the baby’s skin is delicate and sensitive, superinfection with fungi and sometimes bacteria can easily occur.

What does diaper rash look like?

When diaper rash occurs, the skin is reddened and looks like a large red spot in the diaper area. It goes away with the use of diaper area skin care creams, and your baby will thank you if you leave her without a diaper for a period of time to allow the skin to dry and “breathe”.

How to cure diaper rash?

When a fungal infection occurs, most often Candida Albicans, the skin of the diaper area looks somewhat different: it is inflamed, extremely red and painful, and small white pimples are often observed. Your child is dissatisfied and irritable. In more serious cases, the skin may crack and bleed. If you suspect a fungal infection, you should seek the advice of a pediatrician who will recommend one of the antifungal creams that will quickly remove the signs of the disease and relieve you of your troubles.

What to do when the skin of the baby’s bottom burns?

The first and most important thing is to keep the skin of the diaper area dry and clean. When changing, it is useful to follow these steps:

Wash the bottom with lukewarm water and pat it dry. Rubbing can be painful and uncomfortable.
Use gentle baby soaps only if the poop is difficult to remove
If the area is extremely painful, rinse the bottom with a gentle stream of water without rubbing
If possible, leave the child without a diaper to let the skin dry on its own or pat it dry with a soft towel
Do not use powder, but apply cream for the diaper area or medicine recommended by the doctor to the skin

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