How to raise girls so they would become strong women
Specific challenges for parents of girls
For parents of girls, this can be particularly challenging due to the often contradictory roles women are expected to fulfil in society. Generations of women can testify to the various pressures they have felt throughout their lives. Society has set a demanding task for women.
Women are expected to be confident, modest, compassionate, academically successful, socially adept, aware of their appearance but not obsessed with it. Additionally, they are expected to successfully overcome any negative outcome, emerging stronger and wiser from challenging life periods. Now that we’ve established the goal, let’s see what parents can do to help their daughters achieve this.
Childhood shapes us
Research and practice show that the foundation of how we perceive ourselves, the world we live in, and our place in that world is laid in childhood.
From the earliest age, we learn from our parents or other primary caregivers. As children, we learn by observing behaviors and adopting patterns. For instance, based on how others behave towards us and how they handle everyday life, we build an image of ourselves and our environment.
If an adult frequently warns a child about the possibility of falling from a climbing frame, some children will eventually develop a fear and start avoiding it. Similarly, if parents tend to downplay their success, the child learns to attribute their successes to luck or others. This can result in the child growing up without the ability to value their successes and recognize their own virtues and skills.
Skills to develop

Lack of these skills in adulthood can result in a person being unable to recognize their worth, validate their successes, and take responsibility. This can lead to a person not achieving their full potential.
Here’s how to help girls develop the skills and mindset that will build and empower them in adulthood.
- Praise appropriately: Compliment them when they do something well, but make sure it’s appropriate to the challenge they overcame. Let the praise be about the sense of satisfaction from a job well done, not material rewards.
- Encourage problem solving: Give them opportunities to solve their problems. Every resolved issue, whether successful or not, is an experience from which they learn and understand their limits. No one is born knowing how to solve every challenge; we all learn various problem-solving skills over time.
- Teach seeking help: Encourage them to seek help when needed. Everyone learns throughout life, and occasionally we need help. Children need to learn to recognize their limits to avoid giving up too soon or waiting too long to ask for help.
- Face fears: Encourage them to face their fears in safe conditions, with your supervision and support, so they know they can confront fear and don’t need to avoid it. Avoiding sources of fear reinforces the notion that they are too weak to face them.
- Attribute success to abilities: Teach them to attribute their successes to their abilities, not luck or others. If they receive praise at training or a good grade, let them attribute the achievement to their hard work and perseverance, not the teacher’s mood or easy material.
- Balance care for others with self-care: Teach that sharing and caring for others are positive traits but that it’s also essential to listen to their needs and not go beyond their comfort to please others. Sometimes it’s necessary to say no to maintain peace or continue doing something they love.
- Encourage academic diligence: Encourage them in their schoolwork, motivating them to be diligent and persistent and to give their best to overcome difficulties.
- Explore interests: Encourage them to try everything that interests them, so they can learn what they like and dislike, what they want, and what they don’t. Challenges should be appropriate to their age and abilities, and parents must help guide them.
- Model body acceptance: Show by example what it means to accept one’s body and appearance.
- Promote healthy habits: Teach them the importance of healthy eating, physical activity, and rest to stay healthy and have the energy for all challenges.
- Encourage social interaction: Encourage them to play and interact with boys and girls, providing opportunities to try different activities, practice social skills, and find something or someone they like or a good friend.
The foundation you establish with them now will be the base upon which their experiences will build.