Children, sleep and all the well-known problems
Sleeping difficulties in children present one of the biggest challenges for parents, and for sleep-deprived and exhausted moms and dads, it can become a real nightmare.
When the child is awake – everyone is awake
The problem often arises with children who fall asleep in their parents’ arms or while being nursed. The scenario is almost always the same: the child finally falls asleep in the parent’s arms, and the parent tries to quietly and discreetly place the child in the crib. When the child wakes up and realizes they are not in their mother’s arms, loud protest and crying follow. The parents then pick up the child, nurse, and cuddle them. There is no reason for the child not to repeat the same pattern at the next waking – cry and receive comfort. Over time, this rhythm exhausts the parents. The mother often loses her calm and confidence, becomes tense, and the child feels threatened. The child becomes more demanding, cries and fusses, and constantly wants to be held. And so the cycle continues.
How to help ourselves
When it’s time for bed, the child should be placed in the crib and soothed, then the parent should say goodnight and leave the room. This approach communicates a clear message – it’s time to sleep, you are tired, you can fall asleep on your own, and your mother loves you. When the child cries, ideally, parents should restrain their emotions and “let” the child cry for about ten minutes. Then, briefly reassure the child by saying, “Mommy is here, I haven’t abandoned you, but you are staying in the crib because it’s sleep time.” If the crying continues, it is recommended to check on the child at intervals, extending the time by five minutes each time.
After a few nights, the child will sleep without difficulties. Sometimes parents may need to be flexible, but the goal should be clear – a peaceful night.
In some cases, the maternal instinct is too strong, making it difficult to follow these instructions consistently. Generally, it’s good not to intervene immediately at the first sign of protest, such as when the child is experiencing a lower level of stress (e.g., hunger, a wet diaper, or boredom).
It is good to try to act like a nurse in a hospital at 3 a.m. – she will come to the awakened child, pick them up from the crib, and calmly soothe the child with relatively little emotional involvement.
When it comes to breastfeeding children who wake up due to hunger, the mother can nurse them but should avoid excessive emotional engagement like cooing and cuddling. This clearly shows a lack of readiness for interaction, which the child should sense and then continue to sleep peacefully.
What if the child sleeps with the parents?
Generations of some families have practiced co-sleeping. In such cases, it is important to take precautions:
In the first few months of life, it is recommended to place the baby to sleep on their back – not on their side or stomach. Studies show that placing a baby on their back reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
The sleeping surface should be firm, the bed should not be too soft, and the baby should not sleep on a pillow.
The bed should not have too many toys, stuffed animals, pillows, or blankets.
Infants should not sleep between the parents. It is recommended that the baby sleep between the mother and the side of the bed (wall or rail).
Do not sleep with the baby if you are under the influence of alcohol or psychoactive substances (including medications).
It is recommended that the child sleep a minimum of 10 hours to avoid potential behavioral disorders associated with lack of sleep.
All sleep characteristics are the product of biological processes in the child’s brain, the intense processes of growth and maturation, and environmental stimuli, especially how and how much we communicate with the child.
We wish you a peaceful night!
